Captain Rage

Picture it, a brawny super hero in a tight red suit and a blue cape who swoops in to defend the defenseless. Always ready at the drop of a hat to protect the weak, scared people of our society. He has ultra sonic hearing and can hear someone in line at a grocery store about to get ripped off and he swoops in and gives that no good cashier what for! He can see rubber-neckers bottling up traffic near a fender bender and swoop in to tell them where they can shove it! He has a booming and frightening voice that sends fear down the spine of all mere mortals.

His name is Captain Rage and he has your back. He will never let you look like a fool, be taken advantage of, or be humiliated. He kicks people ass and is not afraid of getting in a bar fight if necessary. He will tell people to meet him outside. He also has lots of mug shots. He also spends too much time on your couch. He eats all your food and has kicked your spouse out of bed. He scares your kids and even your dog.

Ok really, the guy is an ass, and for a while you needed him around but now he is causing more harm than good. You don’t know how to get him out of your house. You’re worried you have grown too comfortable with his presence and you don’t know how to function without him.

As lighthearted as this illustration is, anger, raging and violent behaviors are scary, difficult problems that can feel very overwhelming. You don’t have to confront them on your own. There are lots of ways of dealing with anger and rage. Find a good counselor and talk it out.

Shy much?

When I was little I didn’t like people. I liked my Mom’s leg. When we would be approached by anyone I would hug her leg tight and bury my face.

I. did. not. like. people.

As I grew up I was taught about stranger danger. Ahhhh yessss, stranger danger. Strangers are bad! Never tell them your name! Never tell them your address! Never get in a van!! Everyone preached this. Teachers, preachers, neighbors…even strangers.

I remember at one point I was in my late teens still being pretty shy and I realized, I can’t live this way. I can’t keep being shy. I have to figure out how to talk to people.

I graduated high school with my picture under the heading “Funniest student.” Mission accomplished.

Before you think I’m rattling on about how great I am, let me make this point, at some point in our development most of us overcome our childhood shyness. We develop into what professionals and other kinds of nerds might call “Introverts.” Introversion is different than being shy, its about feeling recharged when you’re away from people. It’s about feeling exhausted after too much time in public or with a crowd.

There is a shyness that reaches levels more extreme than kiddie shy or basic introversion. It is called social anxiety, and it’s a special kind of hell. You might have social anxiety if you find that you canNOT talk to others. If you sweat, shake, stumble and panic when considering leaving the house to meet others. Your fear in those situations is mostly about other people judging you. You know they are going to just rip you apart. You’re especially afraid that they will know you’re afraid. So, you stay home. A LOT.

Social anxiety can be the result of an exaggerated childhood shyness, or of a trauma that happened to you sometime later, or a million other things that are individually true for you. The good news is, it doesn’t have to define you.

If you feel this way and have felt this way for more than 6 months, text me. You don’t even have to call. Just say, I think I have social anxiety and I would like to talk about it. You’d be surprised how judgment free my couch is.

(803) 761-0324